I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
