I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
