That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
