420 ftw
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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