so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
being pregnant is like rehab
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
