Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Another day, another engagement, another cat
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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