in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
