normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
