Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
