your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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