He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
