you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
