dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Omg I joined a choir last night...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
