she takes plan B like it's going out of style
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
