You work out of a Hotel?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I am naked and annoyed.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
