did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
