i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
