You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
is it fun? or sober?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
