and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
