heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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