I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize