i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
