my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
