Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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