Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
