some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
