I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
