Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
