I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize