just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I want to fling myself into the sun
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
