Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
