nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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