The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
