who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
