she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
