How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
