Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
