Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
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