By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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