What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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