she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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