god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
