This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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