we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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