the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
