did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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