I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
