I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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