Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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