You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
