Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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