What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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