okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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