They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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