Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Someone shit on the floor
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
