doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My vagina just clenched in fear
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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