and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
