He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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