I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
