Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
