I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
