It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
