Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
