I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
