I molested 6 butterflies tonight
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
