Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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