Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
