We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
